The Toe Poke Daily is here every day to bring you all the weirdest stories, quirkiest viral content and top trolling that the internet has to offer, all in one place.
An exciting new game mode is coming to the FIFA franchise, with EA Sports confirming that "Volta" will be included as part of FIFA 20.
Featuring lots of new flicks, tricks and skills, Volta essentially allows players to compete in small-sided games of street football.
Schalke give new signing the South Park treatment
Schalke 04 have made their first transfer move of the summer by bringing in Jonjoe Kenny on loan from Everton. No stranger to social media mirth, Schalke's official Twitter account greeted the news with a brilliant South Park throwback.
Kenny, an England Under-21 full-back, is joining the Bundesliga club on a season-long deal where he will be playing under ex-Huddersfield coach David Wagner. He might want to trade his orange parka for a nice blue one in the meanwhile.
Van Dijk snubbed from UEFA's best XI
Portugal became inaugural champions of the UEFA Nations League on Sunday by pipping the Netherlands in a final played on home soil.
Despite being tipped by many for a potential Ballon d'Or nod after a near-flawless year, Virgil van Dijk first found himself on the losing side before being rather harshly left out of the official UEFA Team of the Tournament.
Pickford on penalty: 'I had never taken one in a real game'
Over in the third-place playoff, England took 120 goalless minutes and a penalty shootout to finally see off Switzerland for the bronze.
Jordan Pickford emerged as the unlikely match-winner, both scoring and then saving the decisive Swiss spot kick to ensure a podium finish for the Three Lions.
Funnily enough, the goalkeeper revealed he was just as surprised as everybody else after being picked by Gareth Southgate as England's fifth and final penalty taker.
"The gaffer in extra time went 'number five', and I went 'oh wow'," Pickford told BBC Sport.
"I'm not a normal penalty taker but I just relaxed and trusted my ability."
"We practise [penalties] consistently, I always pick my spot and I haven't missed one in training, but I had never taken one in a real game," he added.
What a time to break your duck.